Monday, June 8, 2009
News Lead
Finding a summer job is a hard task for anyone to do, but now that the United States is in a recession it is even harder for high school and college kids to find a job. Everyone needs money, some people use it to pay for gas so they can get to school, hang out with friends, going to stores to buy things, etc. Money is used for many reasons and many high school and college kids are having trouble getting it now days. With the United States in the recession we are in many more Americans are looking for a job than usual. This is bad for the younger worker because people who got laid off from their regular jobs are now looking for any job available.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Lead Peer Review
Jessica's Peer Edit: The beginning sentence covers 4 of the 5w's. Eastview, 2010, Seniors, graduation. The questions left unanswered are why and how. These are answered in the second paragraph. There aren't any really specific times or anything but the phrase "nothing is set in stone yet". This paper could be improved by cutting down the miss spellings.
Peter's Peer Edit: The beginning sentence covers most of the details but in brief while the second sentence goes on to explain that it was the Eastview Frisbee team last weekend at the Hopkins Hustle. In the second and even third paragraph he goes on to explain what the tournament is and how it works. The only questions I have after reading the first part of his story is how the team feels they are doing during the season and their predictions for the rest of the season.
Peter's Peer Edit: The beginning sentence covers most of the details but in brief while the second sentence goes on to explain that it was the Eastview Frisbee team last weekend at the Hopkins Hustle. In the second and even third paragraph he goes on to explain what the tournament is and how it works. The only questions I have after reading the first part of his story is how the team feels they are doing during the season and their predictions for the rest of the season.
Editorial
Many people are excited about the Twins new stadium Target Field. I am excited also but there is just one big design error that I totally disagree with. The Twins new stadium Target Field is not going to have a retractable roof or just a roof. It is a totally open stadium which I think is a dumb thing to have in Minnesota. When opening day comes around new spring in April it will still be really cold out also there may even be a chance of snow. Who in their right mind wants to go watch a baseball game during a cold spring day? Also the same will go for the fall time, it’s going to be cold and not many people will want to watch a baseball game. Yes it will be nice for June, July and August but that’s only three months will the baseball season goes on for like seven months. I just think if they had a retractable roof it would make more sense. If it is raining you can just shut the roof and you could play your game it makes things a lot easier you don’t have to worry about rescheduling and all the other conflicts that happen when you have delays. The Twins at least I think will lose a lot of money at the beginning of the year because not many people I think will want to watch baseball in the cold. They should have taken the idea from the Milwaukee Brewers and made a stadium with a roof, they use it quite a bit and seems like a great idea to have one. Most teams are going to the retractable roof design especially the teams that are in the northern part of the United States. So when it comes down to it I think the Twins will lose money in the spring and fall but make money in the summer. Outdoor baseball is really fun to watch and I enjoy doing it myself. The Minnesota Twins could have made it easier for themselves and could have had the best of both worlds. All they needed to do make a retractable roof and could have the sunshine in the summer and the nice controlled weather in the spring and fall.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Editorial Pre-Writing
1. What is a problem/issue that our entire student body (our school, community, country, etc.) faces today?
North Korea and there missile testing
2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
I think that the missile testing is bad but nothing to worry about yet.
3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)
I would like to make people aware people about North Korea's testing but not to scare them.
4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
Tell them that North Korea is a dangerous nation but not to worry about them yet.
6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
Get People more aware of whats going on in the world.
North Korea and there missile testing
2. What is your view/position on the problem or situation?
I think that the missile testing is bad but nothing to worry about yet.
3. What would you like to achieve with your editorial? (What is the desired result?)
I would like to make people aware people about North Korea's testing but not to scare them.
4. How will you persuade your audience to adopt your viewpoint as theirs? List at least 4 persuasive points.
- Tell them how deadly they are
- Say How they can hurt America
- Why they are practicing shooting Missiles
- Who they may be wanting to hit
Tell them that North Korea is a dangerous nation but not to worry about them yet.
6. How will your editorial serve a public purpose?
Get People more aware of whats going on in the world.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Feature Story Peer Edit
Aaron Stevens Review
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?The whole story could use more details it is just short. It is not that descriptive so more info would be nice.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
More people maybe and I thought the lead was fine and thought it was good.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Kind of you could tell it was about track but maybe more descriptive and for you to talk more.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I would like just to see more of a story but the interviews were good and I like what the people said.
Andrew Peters Review
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
You could go more into how the banks failed also more into the bailout.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Some news sources online also i think the lead is really good.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Yes it is about the economy and the United States trying to improve ours.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
Just a longer story from what you have it is good so just add more and it would be really good. I would like to see less spelling errors type it in word first or spell check it.
Feature Story
The PGA tour has been a fun season to watch so far this year. Many unexpected events have happened so far this year. Also many expected events have happened this year. People have been following Tigers return and his attempt to come back and dominate the PGA tour again.
The PGA tour started out strong again with its first two tournaments being played in Hawaii like normal. Two PGA tour veterans won the first two events in Hawaii, the winners being Geoff Ogilvy and Zach Johnson. After spending the first two weeks in Hawaii the PGA tour went on its west coast swing. Pat Perez got his first career win and other tournaments being won by PGA tour veterans like Phil Mickelson and Kenny Perry. The PGA tour had ten events before the great Tiger Woods made his return after his epic win the 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines last year. He just came off having knee surgery and his wife Elin, having his second child Charlie. The first event he decided to come back to was the World Golf Championships-Accenture Match Play Championships. Tiger made it past the first round winning 3 & 2 against Australia’s Brendon Jones. The second round was not as good for Tiger and he lost to South Africa’s Tim Clark 4 & 2. Geoff Ogilvy went on and continued his up and coming but yet still quiet dominating career with a win over Paul Casey. My friend Blake said “Geoff Ogilvy is a dominating golfer he will start to get more credit and soon will be considered one of the best in the game.” This is Geoff’s second win of the season and with the other tournaments he played this year has him in second play only behind Zach Johnson who also has two wins this year including one in Hawaii like Geoff Ogilvy.
Phil Mickelson has been off to a great start this year winning the Northern Trust Open and CA Championships. Phil is currently third in the FedEx Cup race and has had very early success this season. He made a run on the Sunday of the final day of the Masters while charging up the leader board on the front nine dual with rival Tiger Woods. He unfortunately pulled a Phil Mickelson choke and hit one in the water on the back nine and his chance on winning was gone. Phil has been struck with some bad news recently when he learned his wife has breast cancer. He has made the decision to stop golfing to be with her and his family when they go through this hard time. I asked my dad what he thought about the situation and he said “I think this is a tough moment for Phil and his family he is at the top of his career but, family comes first and hopefully everything works out for him.”
The Masters is the first of four majors that they have in the PGA tour season. This year’s Masters was from April 9th-12th. This year’s winner was Angel Cabrera of Argentina. Angel shot a nice twelve under par and won on in a playoff with Chad Campbell and Kenny Perry. In the first playoff hole Angel hit his ball in the trees to the right of the fairway, then on his next shot he hit a tree and the ball hit the tree and flew to the middle of the fairway. Chad Campbell missed a putt on the first playoff hole to be eliminated. Then on the second playoff hole Angel Cabrera beat Kenny Perry and won his second major and it was his second PGA tour event! My brother Ryan said “In all it was a good Masters I wanted Kenny Perry to win the playoff but Angel just played better at the end and deserved it more.”
There a three more Majors this year including the U.S. Open at Bethpage Black in New York, the British Open Championship in Scotland and the PGA Championship. The PGA Championship this year is at Hazeltine National Golf Club in Chaska, Minnesota. Last time when the PGA Championship was at Hazeltine I went to the event and Rich Beem won and Tiger Woods got second place. It was a popular event then and I bet it will be popular again this year. I asked my friend Joey if he was going to go and he said “I would love to go to the PGA Championship but I am sure the tickets will be expensive and you would not be able to see much of the tournament.
The season has been a very fun one to watch and I bet will be fun to watch from now on. Hopefully Tiger can turn it around and start winning events and hopefully Phil’s wife gets better and he gets back on the course. Overall it should be fun to watch and to stay tuned for all summer.
The PGA tour started out strong again with its first two tournaments being played in Hawaii like normal. Two PGA tour veterans won the first two events in Hawaii, the winners being Geoff Ogilvy and Zach Johnson. After spending the first two weeks in Hawaii the PGA tour went on its west coast swing. Pat Perez got his first career win and other tournaments being won by PGA tour veterans like Phil Mickelson and Kenny Perry. The PGA tour had ten events before the great Tiger Woods made his return after his epic win the 2008 U.S. Open at Torrey Pines last year. He just came off having knee surgery and his wife Elin, having his second child Charlie. The first event he decided to come back to was the World Golf Championships-Accenture Match Play Championships. Tiger made it past the first round winning 3 & 2 against Australia’s Brendon Jones. The second round was not as good for Tiger and he lost to South Africa’s Tim Clark 4 & 2. Geoff Ogilvy went on and continued his up and coming but yet still quiet dominating career with a win over Paul Casey. My friend Blake said “Geoff Ogilvy is a dominating golfer he will start to get more credit and soon will be considered one of the best in the game.” This is Geoff’s second win of the season and with the other tournaments he played this year has him in second play only behind Zach Johnson who also has two wins this year including one in Hawaii like Geoff Ogilvy.
Phil Mickelson has been off to a great start this year winning the Northern Trust Open and CA Championships. Phil is currently third in the FedEx Cup race and has had very early success this season. He made a run on the Sunday of the final day of the Masters while charging up the leader board on the front nine dual with rival Tiger Woods. He unfortunately pulled a Phil Mickelson choke and hit one in the water on the back nine and his chance on winning was gone. Phil has been struck with some bad news recently when he learned his wife has breast cancer. He has made the decision to stop golfing to be with her and his family when they go through this hard time. I asked my dad what he thought about the situation and he said “I think this is a tough moment for Phil and his family he is at the top of his career but, family comes first and hopefully everything works out for him.”
The Masters is the first of four majors that they have in the PGA tour season. This year’s Masters was from April 9th-12th. This year’s winner was Angel Cabrera of Argentina. Angel shot a nice twelve under par and won on in a playoff with Chad Campbell and Kenny Perry. In the first playoff hole Angel hit his ball in the trees to the right of the fairway, then on his next shot he hit a tree and the ball hit the tree and flew to the middle of the fairway. Chad Campbell missed a putt on the first playoff hole to be eliminated. Then on the second playoff hole Angel Cabrera beat Kenny Perry and won his second major and it was his second PGA tour event! My brother Ryan said “In all it was a good Masters I wanted Kenny Perry to win the playoff but Angel just played better at the end and deserved it more.”
There a three more Majors this year including the U.S. Open at Bethpage Black in New York, the British Open Championship in Scotland and the PGA Championship. The PGA Championship this year is at Hazeltine National Golf Club in Chaska, Minnesota. Last time when the PGA Championship was at Hazeltine I went to the event and Rich Beem won and Tiger Woods got second place. It was a popular event then and I bet it will be popular again this year. I asked my friend Joey if he was going to go and he said “I would love to go to the PGA Championship but I am sure the tickets will be expensive and you would not be able to see much of the tournament.
The season has been a very fun one to watch and I bet will be fun to watch from now on. Hopefully Tiger can turn it around and start winning events and hopefully Phil’s wife gets better and he gets back on the course. Overall it should be fun to watch and to stay tuned for all summer.
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